uhm.
Journal Entry: Tue Aug 19, 2008, 11:19 PM
- Mood:
Panic
Now what? It's safe to say that the recovery process is well on its way to near completion. But after all of this blows over. After the eating disorder. After the withdrawal from friends. After crying stops hurting so much. Then what? I'm much happier withdrawn. I'm much happier alone. This lifestyle kills me, but at the same time, it's a lifestyle that seems to be constant. While the stupidest excuses for mental/emotional illnesses are orbiting around this new lifestyle, it isn't based on the foolish things I'd once preoccupy myself with.
Am I supposed to go back to the way things were? I don't want that. This is my true self. If I was to go into the way things should naturally be and have been, I'd be lost. The drama. The fooling around. Things seem so meaningless. Everything I do now has meaning, and purpose. Whether it's negative or positive, it's something. Isn't being neutral a waste of life? Neutral is my past and future life, and it's sickening.
I want to walk away from this with what I have and cling onto strongly in my heart what I had. I can't quite always live in the progression stage, though. The healing. The "today, mentally, was much more fulfilling than yesterday. Thought a lot.". I'd much rather say that then, "So I had lunch with this person, and this person like totally said this!"
Welland friends are noticing a change. It isn't a good one, really.
Meh.
Sleep well. ED clinic tomorrow.
Spider bite on foot. ... AHHHHHHH! TT
<3
Devious Comments
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Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
--Albert Einstein.
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[link]
-holds up medium butter caramel iced cap from Timmies-
Cheers! ^_^ ~
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Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
--Albert Einstein.
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Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
--Albert Einstein.
I will look forward to talking to you later on tomorrow morning!
--
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
--Albert Einstein.
And by the way...who said we're going to have any female children?
MWAHAHAHAH!
(Cause 75% of the time, Kim makes me laugh)
....I would stay there...and sleep...but have nice dreams because of a certain someone
In reply:
I am indeed quite well.
--
Art is showing others what you live.
I am aware that I'm a young, perhaps naïve artist. I am trying to improve and grow. I want to learn, however I can. I want to see what can be done by others, even myself. Forgive my mistakes - I am always learning.
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<3 Rei~chan
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I am The Gremlin.....and i love it!
--
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
--Albert Einstein.
--
gallery --> [link] stock --> [link]
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HUGz
(\/)
( ..)
c(")(")
,___,
[O.o]
/)__)
-"--"-
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*jagscupid
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